山东教育英语作文修改方法略谈
英语作文是英语学习中很重要的一部分，在教学中也是一大难点，很多教师在英语写作教学中也遇到了不少困难，本文是一篇山东教育投稿的论文范文，主要论述了英语作文修改方法略谈。
【摘 要】本文从笔者的一堂英语作文讲评课谈起，认为可以从引导学生修改典型错误，修改句子主语、谓语、宾语等几个角度来修改作文。
【关键词】英语,作文修改,方法
一 英语写作教与学的困境
英语作文的重要性毋庸讳言。作为英语输出中最难的部分，英语作文常常使许多学生望而却步，使他们不想也不敢写作文，也常常为写作水平难以提高而苦恼。这其中既包括常常出现的语法错误不懂怎么改正，也包括写不出好的句式来。同时，教师也常常为如何教好作文而焦头烂额，苦无良策。从教学实际来看，由于课时紧、任务重，教师往往忙着赶进度，不能引导学生和文本形成良性互动，积累、使用学过的语言，也很少有时间引导学生对自己的作文进行润色修改，在改进中提高。作文课的讲评，也是一大难题，常用的套路是修改错误、欣赏学生佳作、学习范文等。这样，一节作文讲评课上完后，学生还是觉得难以写出更好的句子，常常难以对写作有新的提高。本文从笔者执教的一堂作文讲评课谈如何引导学生对自己的作文进行修改，以便从另一个角度提高他们的写作能力。
二 英语作文修改的方法
1.修脸刮须
修脸刮须即改正错误。把学生的常见错误挑出来，引导学生自我改正，这是大部分老师都会做的方法。教师可以更进一步，把这些错误进行归类、延伸，最好能和平时学生遇到的常见错误联系起来。如在单元考试和练习中，语法填词题和短文改错常常因为词形不对等原因而得分率低。教师在作文讲评中，要引导学生注意词汇使用的正确形式和搭配惯用法。请看我的教学设计：
这是一份单元考试的写作题目：谈谈十年后的你是什么样的，要点：工作、生活、家庭。根据学生的作文情况，我进行了以下设计。
Step 1：correct the common mistakes，including
第一类：词性类的错误。如：live happy;have a happiness live;my family is happily;my parents are healthily…
第二类：搭配类的错误。如：travel the world;how will we be like after ten years;devote my spare time into my child…
第三类：语法类的错误。如：I will working hard to support my family;we will glad to meet each other;ten years later，dreaming of leading a happy life，I watching TV every night with my family，enjoying the sun with my cat every afternoon，taking a walk after supper…
第四类：单词拼写的错误。如：dearm of;have a happy live;leaded a simple life…
以上错误是学生常犯的典型错误，教师可以进一步延伸，把学生平时写作的错误挑出来进行分析改进，不断训练。通过引导学生改正错误并进行一定的归类讲解后，再进行下一步。
Step 2：self-correct
要学生自我修改作文中出现的错误。为了降低难度，所有学生作文的错处我已经画出，学生只要自己修改即可。
然后，我再抽取其中一篇典型错误的作文检查其修改情况并进行展示。从教学实际来看，大部分的错误学生能自己修改。
2.整冠正帽
整冠正帽即修改润色句子的主语。教学设计如下：
Step 3：improving subject
先抽取一份成绩中等同学的作文，修改其错误后用PPT展示出来，请同学们进行评价。
I often imagine what my life will be like in the future. I think my life will be very different ten years later. I will be twenty-eight years old at that time. I will have my own family. Probably with a lovely child and my husband will love me.
I hope I will work in a computer company. I will enjoy my work and get along well with my colleagues. I will do a good job in what I do.
In my spare time，I will continue to take regular exercise，such as swimming，running and various ball games. On my holidays，I will travel around the world.
In a word，my life will be much richer and more colorful.
这篇作文基本切题，段落也较清晰，但缺点是句式简单，全是主谓宾的简单句，而且通篇全是I will…的句型，让人读来觉得文采欠缺，单调乏味。句式简单重复，欠缺文采，表达不地道等是学生作文的通病。
我引导学生注意文章的缺点，然后示范如何对句子的主语进行润色修改。
第一，使用定语从句、后置定语、介词短语、分词短语等美化主语。如：
I think my life will be very different ten years later.可改为：I’m convinced that my life，much better and richer then，will be very different ten years later.
I will be twenty-eight years old at that time.可改为：Twenty-eight years old by then，I will be grown-up both in body and in mind to support a family.
I will enjoy my work and get along well with my colleagues.可改为：I，Enjoying my work，will get along well with my colleagues.
第二，句子倒置。整篇文章都是相同的句式显得呆板单调，可以适当地把有的句式中的主语和宾语倒置，使得句式更加灵活。
In my spare time，I will continue to take regular exercise，such as swimming，running and various ball games.可改为：Regular exercise，such as swimming，running and various ball games will take up my my spare time.
3.围上腰带
围上腰带即改进句子的谓语部分。
谓语是句子的灵魂。如果一个句子的谓语写好了，写活了，句子就显得更有活力。就上述那篇学生习作来说，短短120字的文章 will be/will do结构出现了10次。经过修改，可以变得更加有文采、更加丰富多样，具有表现力。 第一，使用同义表达方式。英语中很多词汇的意思有不止一种表达方式。使用多种表达方式特别是其中更加高级的表达方式能体现写作者更强的词汇驾驭能力。如：
I think my life will be very different ten years later.可改为：I’m convinced /I firmly believe / I’m in firm belief that my life，much better and richer then，will be very different ten years later.
I hope I will work in a computer company.可以改为：Hopefully I will be working in a computer company.
第二，使用分词。如：
I will enjoy my work and get along well with my colleagues.可改为：Enjoying my work，I will get along well with my colleagues.
4.穿上鞋子
穿上鞋子即修改句子的宾语和其他部分。
第一，句子扩展。当句子显得简单短小的时候，可以通过加with 结构、定语从句、不定式等方式把句子写长。如：
In my spare time，I will continue to take regular exercise，such as swimming，running and various ball games. On my holidays，I will travel around the world.可以改为：Regular exercise，such as swimming，running and various ball games takes up my free time，which benefits me both mentally and physically. On my holidays，I will travel around the world to widen my eyes，making me knowledgeable about the world.
第二，句子合并。定语从句、状语从句等都是学生学过的语法知识，但从他们的写作实际看，部分同学还是不会使用。修改作文时，可以引导学生分析前后句子的逻辑关系，把几个句子进行合并，既可以提升句子质量，又可以训练他们的语法综合使用能力。如：
I hope I will work in a computer company. I will enjoy my work and get along well with my colleagues. I will do a good job in what I do.可以改为：Hopefully，I will be working in a computer company，where I will be getting along well with my colleagues，enjoying my work.
I will be twenty-eight years old at that time. I will have my own family. Probably with a lovely child and my husband will love me. 可以改为：Twenty-eight years old by then，I will be grown-up both in mind and in body to support a family，and I will have my own family with my husband loving me with his heart and soul and a lovely child. 这样，经过修改润色后，文章就成为：
I often imagine what my life will be like in the future. I’m convinced that my life，much better and richer，will be very different ten years later.
Twenty-eight years old at that time，I will be grown-up both in mind and in body to support a family and I will have my own family with my husband loving me with his heart and soul and probably with a lovely child. We live a simple but happy life of ease.
Hopefully I will be working in a computer company，where I will be getting along well with my colleagues，enjoying my work. I will do a good job in whatever I do to make contributions to the company so that the boss will be satisfied with my performance.
Regular exercise，such as swimming，running and various ball games will take up my spare time，which benefits me both mentally and physically. On my holidays，I will travel around the world to widen my eyes，making me knowledgeable about the world.
In a word，my life will be much fuller and more colorful.
Step 4：self-improvement
要求学生对自己的作文重新修改，侧重提升句子质量。下面是一位学生修改后的习作(文章中的个别错误我没有进行修改)：
We all want to grow up happily and healthily. I often image what kind of life I’ll have in ten years in my free time .
In ten years，it’s my duty to earn a living to support my family. My parents should be took care of my myself，like what they do. And instead of having an argument with my sister，I’ll get along well with her，as a good grown-up do. In the unknown future，my dream comes true…I become a teacher. When I work at the school，I must not only do what I should do，but also treat my students as if they were my family. Working without looking forward to gaining anything，all problems about working must be overcome.
Reading also plays an important role in my life. In my spare time，books always lead me to another wonderful world. And I am always lost in reading，with time rushing by.
The future in my mind is so colorful that I can’t help struggling for it . The harder I work now，the better the life will be.
根据教育心理学，当教师为学生搭建有效的支架之后，就能有效地引导学生习得新的语言知识或者技能，这是最近发展区理论的意义所在。学生常常苦于不知如何改正自己作文中的错误，不知如何改进自己质量不高的习作。这不仅仅是提供一篇范文或者要求学生模仿范文就可以解决的。笔者以为，教师就学生的习作当场示范，教导学生如何改进自己的习作，所使用的句子又是学生学习过或者正在学习的，他们就能不断地琢磨去改进自己的写作，尝试使用平时学过的比较复杂的难句、长句等。长期坚持，他们的写作水平就会有新的提升。
相关期刊推荐：《外语教学与研究》是北京外国语大学学报，原名《西方语文》，是由中华人民共和国教育部主管，北京外国语大学主办的，是我国外语界第一家学术期刊，创办于1957年6月。国内刊号：CN：11-1251/G4、国际刊号：ISSN：1000-0429。
